Five ways to actually relax over the holidays

Are you frightened to even look at your calendar this holiday season? Between the jam-packed concerts, the swishy cocktail parties, the harried shopping trips and the stressful visits with family, its downright overwhelming.

If you could use some new rituals, read on. These five expert tips will ease your stress this holiday season and even — dare we say it — even help you relax!

1. Think your time through
“It’s like that old saying — start with the end in mind. What do you want the holidays to look like?” asks Brian Beech, a Newmarket-based clinical social worker. “If you imagine yourself in January, what would you like to be able to look back on that period and remember?” Thinking December through can help bring some clarity to what priorities you have, and what are more negotiable tasks. “Obviously some of those tasks have to get negotiated to some degree with family and whatnot, but I think thinking it through before going into it is so important.”

2. Do a reality check
Have realistic expectations for yourself and others, suggests Louise Veres an Oakville-based life coach. She encourages people to ask themselves, “What can you really manage? How much do you really want to do? And what’s possible, rather than trying to squeeze everything in,” before committing to too many things. “Take a look at your work schedules and what’s going on with family and go from there,” she advises.

3. Take care of yourself
When planning out the month, build in some of your favourite downtime activities — hitting that spin class you love to do, or just going to the movies with a good friend. “Just make sure that it is important because some people really do want to have some time with their family or even just for themselves to go out and do something and make sure that’s part of the plan,” says Veres. “Block off time for that to give yourself a sense of peace and calm.”

4. Set — and stick — to a budget
Where does this fit into managing seasonal stress? “The financial stress can also hit, so it’s important for people to be realistic, says Beech. “You hear so much now about people not taking on more debt and stressing themselves out at a cost,” which is a great step to getting back into the true spirit of the holidays. He advises setting a strict budget and sticking to it no matter what, “It’s so easy to get caught up in ‘more-is-better’, but the amount you spend isn’t equivalent to how you feel.”

5. Make a game plan for stressful events
Tensing up at the thought of visiting your uptight sister-in-law? “Exercise some decision-making beforehand with your partner about things like: how long are we going to be there? Can we have a check in discreetly to see how it’s going?” suggests Beech. “If possible, step away from the party or event or just go out and take a break or breaks. It’s all about feeling like you have choices and exercising those choices.”

How to Get Ideal Posture and Out of Pain

When it comes to posture, your mother did know best. Her reminders to stand up straight and stop slouching were good advice.

Your spine is strong and stable when you practice healthy posture. But when you stoop or slouch, your muscles and ligaments struggle to keep you balanced — which can lead to back pain, headaches and other problems.

Did you know that most back problems stem from inflexibility and poor movement patterns? I got to spend some time learning Foundation from Eric Goodman while I was in Santa Barbara during 2010. Try these exercises. They work!

To test your standing posture, take the wall test. Stand with your head, shoulder blades and buttocks touching a wall, and have your heels about 2 to 4 inches (about 5 to 10 centimeters) away from the wall. Reach back and slide your hand behind the curve in your lower back, with your palm flat against the wall.

Ideally, you'll feel about one hand's thickness of space between your back and the wall. If there's too much space, tighten your abdominal muscles to flatten the curve in your back. If there's too little space, arch your back so that your hand fits comfortably behind you. Walk away from the wall while maintaining this posture. Keep it up throughout your daily activities.

Prevent back pain with good posture

When standing, keep these tips in mind:

1.Keep your shoulders back and relaxed.

2.Pull in your abdomen.
3.Keep your feet about hip distance apart.
4.Balance your weight evenly on both feet.
5.Let your hands hang naturally at your sides.

When seated, keep these tips in mind:

1.Choose a chair that allows you to rest both feet flat on the floor while keeping your knees level with your hips. If necessary, prop up your feet with a footstool or other support.

2.Sit back in your chair. If the chair doesn't support your lower back's curve, place a rolled towel or small pillow behind your lower back.

3.Stretch the top of your head toward the ceiling, and tuck your chin in slightly.
Keep your upper back and neck comfortably straight.

4.Keep your shoulders relaxed — not elevated, rounded or pulled backward.Try not to tilt your head forward, backward or sideways, and make sure your knees are relaxed — not locked.

Although good posture should be natural, you might feel wooden or stiff at first if you've forgotten the sensation of sitting and standing up straight. The key is to practice good posture all the time. You can make improvements at any age. Stretching and core strengthening exercises can help, too.

Listening to the Body: Understanding Pain

A few years ago, I woke up with an excruciating pain in my lower back. Although it was a very limiting pain, I was sure that as soon as I started moving around it would disappear. My denial was based on the scientific fact that movement dissipates tension, although why would I have tension after several hours of deep sleep? I told myself that I had probably slept in a forced posture. However, the day turned into night with no relief.

In the past 17 years I have chosen not to take medication of any kind, except for a few vitamins and supplements, whenever I've felt my body needed them. So, I ruled out using analgesics from the beginning.

The following day not only the pain was still there, it had worsened and it irradiated to my right thigh. I could hardly bend down to put my socks on and when I tried to go for a walk each step felt like a hammer hitting my lower back. My pelvis felt the pulsating squeezing of giving birth, but of course, it was not the case. My medical mind told me I had herniated a disk in my lumbar spine. But what would I do with the diagnosis?

Breathing deeply made the pain grow, sneezing made me agonize. I knew that a doctor would order X-rays or an MRI, which would confirm the diagnosis and localize the lesion with accuracy. After the tests, the doctor would prescribe muscle relaxers and a painkiller, and recommend a hard bed, but taking any kind of medication was out of the question. I had long ago decided not to ingest any chemicals that could disturb the communication between my organs.

I played my relaxation cassettes, administered Reiki to myself and made an online healing request through the Distant Healing Network (the-dhn.com).

I could hardly sit in a chair, so I straddled my kneeling chair, the one I use on my computer workstation most of the day, making frequent pauses to give rest to the muscles in charge of maintaining that posture. I also modified my nutrition to add extra anti-inflammatory foods like tart cherries and natural analgesics like green peppers. I used vitamin C and Complex B to reinforce my connective tissue and support the inner healer in the process of repairing any injured nervous tissue. I took magnesium pills to keep cartilages flexible and muscles relaxed and bought ripe pineapples that are rich in the anti-inflammatory enzyme bromeline.

Although the pain and the muscle spasm were limiting, I knew they served the purpose of protecting my tissues from further damage. That's why I decided to respect the pain. I knew that Reiki and relaxation techniques would keep it within a bearable range and pain would guide my recovery. I knew the pain was a body alert that I needed to listen to. My cousin, for example, after having herniated a disk was prescribed with a strong dose of cortisone and analgesics. His pain was gone in hours and after a few days he felt so well that he decided to play soccer with his vigorous 8-year-old son. Because the body didn't have enough time to heal, he caused himself an even more serious lesion that rendered him in a wheelchair for a while.

In my case, after a few days, the pain was almost completely gone but the spasm continued to protect the spine for several weeks. I avoided driving, running and bearing weight. Rolling on the floor, Tai-Chi-like exercises and mindful moving helped my body take care of the problem while keeping my muscles flexible and relaxed. Still, the body continues to remind me with pain in the same area that I should not bear more weight than necessary, that I should change posture frequently and that pauses are desirable.

Pain Has a Purpose

If the purpose of pain is to protect the body from further damage, we need to listen. Usually, only when the pain is acute and limiting we are forced to pay attention. In most cases, we just ignore the pain as when we have been sitting for hours in front of a computer and the overloaded muscles are asking for a change in posture. Because we ignore pain, our muscles tense and develop spasms, which contribute to deform our posture causing misalignments. If we stop using groups of muscles they will shorten and weaken and in time, unattended areas become vulnerable to injuries.Most of us run looking for medication to alleviate a symptom. But is it really necessary or desirable to counteract a normal defensive bodily response? I believe it is preferable to listen to our body. Forcefully silencing the body cuts our relationship with it.

If necessary, natural therapies such as Reiki, Trager, relaxation techniques and acupuncture will help reduce pain without the undesirable secondary effects of medication. Only in extreme cases should we go for painkillers, and always under a physician's advice.