Manage Your Stress With Conscious Meditation

One late August afternoon, I found myself smack in the middle of an all-too-familiar horror story: rush hour traffic in LA. Sun beating down, nothing moving, trapped in a sea of frustrated drivers, and running late to an important meeting — I was getting stressed out. Suddenly, an article I read that morning about the Menla Conference (an ultimate living and longevity conference of scholars, doctors, and Tibetan Monks) popped into my head. One of their main topics was the benefit of meditation.

Now, this wasn”t the first thing I had read about meditating. For years, I”d been encountering proof of its many benefits, but I still had not regularly stuck to a routine. Today was the day. Sitting in my car, I decided to try a simple counting and breath meditation. Breathe in deeply, exhale, count, and repeat. Within a minute, I was already feeling better. After five minutes, I was calm and focused. With that short meditation, I was able to completely change my outlook. That was my first real experience at managing my stress with conscious meditation and proof positive that I wanted more meditation in my life.

Since then, I have gone on to use meditation as a powerful healing tool in my life and use it with my clients. It”s a virtual panacea of healing.


5-Minute Meditation

♦ Inhale deep into your belly below the belly button.

♦ Then breathe out. Do this several times. Then on the exhale start counting to 3, 4 or 5.

♦ On the inhale, count back down to 1.

♦ Do this for 5 minutes. It”s that simple!


Challenge Yourself

Commit to 30 days of doing this once in the morning, once in the evening, and at any point when you notice you’re feeling stressed out. If you are moved to do a longer meditation, then do it either in the morning or evening. In a longer setting, continue counting down on the exhale.

Example: Inhale deep into your belly below the belly button. Exhale and count to five. Inhale. Exhale and count to five. Inhale. Exhale and count to five. And so on. The amount of counting you do on the exhale can be random, but should pick up where you left off on the last breath.

Mini-relaxations to ease holiday stress

Deep breathing, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization can evoke a state of rest and release. Doing them can slow your heartbeat, calm your breathing, lower your blood pressure, and help you chill out.

You can’t necessarily eliminate the seasonal stressors. But you can counter them using the mini-relaxation exercises described below, adapted from Stress Management, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School.

When you’ve got 1 minute

Place your hand just beneath your navel so you can feel the gentle rise and fall of your belly as you breathe. Breathe in slowly. Pause for a count of three. Breathe out. Pause for a count of three. Continue to breathe deeply for one minute, pausing for a count of three after each inhalation and exhalation.

Another one-minute relaxation technique is to sit comfortably and take slow, deep breaths. Each time you breathe in, say to yourself “I am.” As you breathe out, say “At peace.” Repeat this several times. Feel your entire body relax into the support of the chair.

When you’ve got 2 minutes

Count down slowly from 10 to zero. With each number, take one complete breath, inhaling and exhaling. For example, breathe in deeply saying “10” to yourself. Breathe out slowly. On your next breath, say “nine,” and so on. If you feel lightheaded, count down more slowly to space your breaths further apart. When you reach zero, you should feel more relaxed. If not, go through the exercise again.

When you’ve got 3 minutes

Sit down and take a break from whatever you’re doing. Relax your facial muscles and allow your jaw to fall open slightly. Let your shoulders drop. Let your arms fall to your sides. Allow your hands to loosen so that there are spaces between your fingers. Uncross your legs or ankles. Feel your thighs sink into your chair, letting your legs fall comfortably apart. Feel your shins and calves become heavier and your feet grow roots into the floor. Now breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly. Each time you breathe out, relax even more.

When you’ve got 5 minutes

Try self-massage. A combination of strokes works well to relieve muscle tension. Try gentle chops with the edge of your hands or tapping with fingers or cupped palms. Put fingertip pressure on muscle knots. Knead across muscles, and try long, light, gliding strokes. You can apply these strokes to any part of the body that falls easily within your reach. For a short session like this, try focusing on your neck and head.
Start by kneading the muscles at the back of your neck and shoulders. Make a loose fist and drum swiftly up and down the sides and back of your neck. Use your thumbs to work tiny circles around the base of your skull. Slowly massage the rest of your scalp with your fingertips. Then tap your fingers against your scalp, moving from the front to the back and then over the sides.
Massage your face. Make a series of tiny circles with your thumbs or fingertips. Pay particular attention to your temples, forehead, and jaw muscles. Use your middle fingers to massage the bridge of your nose and work outward over your eyebrows to your temples.

When you’ve got 10 minutes

Try imagining yourself away from stress. Start by sitting comfortably in a quiet room. Breathe deeply for a few minutes. Now picture yourself in a place that conjures up good memories. What do you smell — the heavy scent of roses on a hot day, crisp fall air, the wholesome smell of baking bread? What do you hear? Drink in the colors and shapes that surround you. Focus on sensory pleasures: the swoosh of a gentle wind; soft, cool grass tickling your feet; the salty smell and rhythmic beat of the ocean. Passively observe intrusive thoughts, and then gently disengage from them to return to the world you’ve created.

Ways to Be Mindful and Achieve Optimal Health

There's a movement afoot—at least among those who practice what's known as "integrative medicine"—to focus on maintaining a state of optimal health rather than simply alleviating symptoms or treating a particular disease. These docs, nurses, and other health practitioners want us to be truly mindful of how we choose to nourish ourselves with food, activity, rest, and connections with others. In other words, what are we doing to keep from getting sick in the first place? That's the question we need to ask ourselves every day, moment to moment, contends psychologist Jon Kabat-Zinn, founding director of the University of Massachusetts Medical School's Center for Mindfulness in Medicine.

Studies have shown that mindfulness, a form of meditation in which you disengage yourself from strong beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, has a positive effect on brain function, lowering the stress response and increasing feelings of relaxation and well-being. It involves being truly present, even during those simple, mundane activities like washing dishes. It can remind you of the "reality of impermanence," Kabat-Zinn writes in his bestselling book Full Catastrophe Living. "Here you are doing the dishes again. How many times have you done the dishes? How many more times will you do them in your life? What is this activity we call doing the dishes? Who is doing them? Why?"

At last week's Institute of Medicine conference on integrative health, he outlined five strategies for using mindfulness to improve one's health and achieve wellness.

1. Consider what's right with you. 

"Until you stop breathing, there's more right with you than wrong with you," says Kabat-Zinn. Every day, take a moment to thank your eyes for seeing, your liver for functioning, your feet for carrying you from place to place. Heck, thank those mitochondria within your cells for pumping out the energy you need to get you out of bed in the morning.


2. Love yourself unconditionally. 

Hate yourself for being 40 pounds overweight? Those berating thoughts you have about your imperfections can actually derail you instead of motivating you into action. (It's that old story: Starve yourself as punishment for overeating, until you can't take it anymore and give in to a binge.) Rather than setting a weight-loss goal and promising to love yourself once you get there, Kabat-Zinn says you need to make an effort to love yourself "all the way," whether you're 300 pounds or 150. If you decide to eat smaller portions or give up chips for carrot sticks, simply tell yourself, "This is just the way I'm eating now as a way to live better."

3. Live in the present moment. 

Don't think about what you ate yesterday or make promises to exercise tomorrow. "Every moment gives you the ability to learn, grow, and change," explains Kabat-Zinn. "If you can take a moment and live as if it really mattered, you can take a step back and see those impulses that may be negative to your health." What's more, you'll truly enjoy those indulgences like the creamy feel of a Godiva truffle or a 10-minute shoulder massage at an airport kiosk when your flight is delayed. You can also take pleasure in those small interactions with others: with the doorman, greeting you in your office lobby; the lady in line ahead of you at the supermarket; the goodnight hug from your child.

4. When life gets tough, don't take it personally. 

When faced with job loss, a foreclosure, or an impending divorce, it's really hard not to place the blame squarely on your own shoulders and get stuck in the "if only" mind-set. If only I had (choose one): taken a different job, bought a cheaper house, not cheated. That sort of rumination sets you up for full-blown depression. While it's important to accept responsibility for your actions, the best way to do that is by looking to the present rather than the past. What are you going to do that's different right now, at this moment, to move forward? "When the proverbial stuff hits the proverbial fan, it's really important to recognize and acknowledge the fear you're feeling," says Kabat-Zinn. "But also recognize that it's in these trying times that you will understand fully what it means to be human, to utilize all the resources you have." After all, it's those challenges faced by the World War II generation that earned it the distinction of being called the "greatest."

5. Put the "being" back in human. 

If you fill every moment with frenetic activity—work, text messaging, household chores, computer games—you never give yourself a chance to simply be. Too many of us are human stuff, the sum of our actions, instead of human beings, points out Kabat-Zinn. As corny as it sounds, just sitting for a moment to contemplate the clouds, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the pattern of stalled cars winding around the freeway, is what separates us from the nut-gathering squirrels. And science shows it's a great stress reliever, to boot.

8 Easy Mindful-Meditation Techniques

According to Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley University, the act of mindfulness can be defined as “maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and surrounding environment.” Consistently practicing mindfulness techniques can reduce the impact of stress on the brain, improve sleep quality, improve attention and even increase a sense of emotional and physical well-being. You don’t have to be a Zen master to cultivate this state of present-moment awareness -- in fact, it can be quite simple to get into that space. “Mindfulness practice does not mean that you try to act like a perfect person,” says Taso Papadakis, Dharma teacher at Golden Wind Zen Center. “There are many paths to access our inherent human wisdom and wake up into the essence of our own life.” If you’re looking for emotional and physical well-being, give one of these eight simple mindfulness techniques a try.

1. Hold Then Release Tension

Tightly squeeze your hands into a fist, count to 20 and let go. Take all your awareness to the sensations occurring in your hands. Continue to bring your attention to these sensations for as long as you can. Repeat several times and notice how focused your mind becomes and how calm you begin to feel. This can be done anywhere and anytime -- all you need is your mind and your hands.

2. Focus on a Single Object

Pick any object in your line of sight on which to focus your attention. Without judgment, sit and watch the object with curiosity. The easiest things to watch are animals, children, waves, trees and clouds. If you are not in nature, watching the flame of a candle can be a quick, hypnotic way to get lost in the present moment. Instead of using your mind to label, judge and categorize the object, simply bring your attention to it. Observe the object with a heightened curiosity of what it might do next.

3. Truly Listen to Music

Play a song, listening closely to the sounds that arise. Journal about where it takes you emotionally, how it makes you feel, the colors that come to mind and the memories that surface. Listening to music without words (i.e., instrumental) is helpful because it shuts off that part of the brain that is trying to decipher, identify and translate meaning. This in turn helps focus your mind only on the music instead of your grocery list, bills or to-do list.

4. Engage Your Sense of Smell

Smell something strong like coffee beans, lavender or garlic and pay attention to what it does to your nose. Where do you feel it? Does it bring up a memory? An emotion? This will help your mind focus intently on the scent. Taiwanese researchers found that using aromatherapy decreased feelings of stress in the body. Choose a scent that is pleasant: You don’t want the scent of rotten eggs to throw you into a bad mood!

5. Explore Old Tastes in a New Way

Use a cube of ice, piece of chocolate or a mint. Place the food in your mouth and focus entirely on how it feels and tastes on your tongue. How does it feel when you bite into it? What about when you chew it? Or swallow it? What sensations do you notice when it’s melting inside your mouth? You can also do this with your meals. Instead of sitting in front of the TV or talking at a dinner table, sit quietly and eat slowly with detailed attention paid to each bite. This will not only focus your mind, it will also affect how much you eat and how the food tastes. Implementing this kind of mindful eating can lower stress, increase satisfaction and even help you lose weight.

6. Focus on the Sound of Your Breath

Place cotton balls or earplugs in your ear (be careful not to stick them too far in) to heighten the volume of the sound of your breath. As you shut off your connections to the outer world, you will find that your mind starts to focus on the sound of your breath. It’s as if you’re alone in an internal temple that only you can create. Research from Weber State University suggests that when you set aside time to focus on your breath, there is a decrease in the secretion of stress hormones.

7. Take a Meditative Walk

Find a place where you can be alone and walk in nature. If you choose, you can listen to soft, meditative music through your headphones. Begin walking slowly, looking down at your feet to watch each step that is taken. Bring all of your attention to your footsteps. How do they feel with each step? Can you feel the difference in surfaces that you’re stepping on? Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.” You will be absolutely amazed what the simple act of walking can do for your present-moment awareness. A sense of calm contentment will come over you as you begin to become even more aware of what the present moment has to offer you.

8. Take a Bath

Taking a bath is one of the most relaxing activities you can do. Fill your tub with warm water and, if you want, some type of scented bubble bath or essential oils. Turn the lights down, light some candles and turn on soft background music. Soak in the warm bath and allow your olfactory system to be stimulated. Focus on the smell for a few moments. Then focus on the feeling of your muscles relaxing as the warm water surrounds your body. Close your eyes and listen to the music in the background. After a few moments, turn your attention to the candles that are lit. To finish off this mindfulness activity, stay in the bath while the water is draining and become aware of how strongly gravity holds us to the earth.

Now that you’ve done a few of these prescribed techniques, branch out and seek unique ways to bring yourself into this mindful state. Dharma teacher Taso Papadakis says, “We are all different in some ways. We have different dispositions, conditioning and chemistry. We don’t all need the same ‘medicine.’ There are many paths available; it takes experimentation and courage.” Take an active roll in controlling the incessant chatter that runs through the stream of your consciousness. By doing so, you will bring peace to your life and the lives of those who surround you.

What's Your Stress Style?

Physically, we all react the same way to stress: Our heart races, breath quickens, muscles tense and palms sweat. But emotionally? That's a whole other story. Your M.O.—whether it's to panic, shed tears or lash out—is something scientists call reactivity.

"Your level of reactivity is a complex combination of your environment—for example, how you were raised—and your genes," says Daniel Mroczek, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. Your life experiences, parents and personality all shape how you respond to stressors. Reactivity is mostly determined from an early age, but it isn't set in stone. "You always have a choice to change how you react to a stressor," explains Eva Selhub, M.D., a clinical associate at the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

People who are truly cool as cucumbers even under stress do exist, but the rest of us tend to fall largely into one of five categories. See which one sounds the most familiar and follow the personalized tips to relax already.

The Catastrophizer

You find out that your company is being sold. You're certain you'll lose your job and default on your mortgage. Before you know it, you've spiraled into a dark hole of worry, anxiety, negativity and fear. "Regardless of whether stressors are a true threat or not, you perceive everything as a disaster," Mroczek says. Overall, you're extremely sensitive and feel emotions—both good and bad—more strongly than other people do. "It's like having an emotional sunburn," adds Jared Minkel, Ph.D., a psychologist at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina. "You always feel it, but it hurts a lot more when you press on it."

Your stress Rx: per

Start your day with mindfulness meditation, in which you focus on what you're thinking and feeling and nothing else. After just three days of brief sessions, participants who learned the technique perceived a tense situation as less stressful than non­meditators did, according to a study from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. Many reported that the habit helped them see how they were reacting, which enabled them to concentrate on the task at hand, instead of getting caught up in their emotions about it. To do it, try an online-and-app program like Headspace ($8 per month, headspace.com), podcasts from the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center or simply sit quietly and pay attention to your breathing and your physical sensations. Work up to at least 10 minutes a day.

The Deer in the Headlights

There's the fight-or-flight response most people experience when stressed. Then there's what you do: freeze or shut down whenever you feel overwhelmed at work or have a fight with a friend. That's a handy survival mechanism if you're a lizard trying to blend into your environment to evade predators. But it's not so helpful for humans. "While freezing can be a sign of panic, people who shut down under stress might have an inadequate stress response," Dr. Selhub says. "Your adrenaline never gets going, so you stop and nothing gets done." Perhaps you experienced physical or psychological trauma early in life and learned to cope by going numb, but that's unhealthy. Avoiding, rather than facing, stressful situations is associated with even greater stress as well as an increased incidence of insomnia, a study in Sleep found.

Your stress Rx: 

Unroll your sticky mat. While the relax­ing benefits of yoga can't hurt, there's another reason to get your down dog on regularly. Doing so relieves fatigue and boosts self-esteem. "Low self-esteem can make you feel powerless, and the fear that taking action will result in failure often leads to no action at all," Dr. Selhub says. But boosting your confidence shifts your perspective so that stressful experiences become challenges not threats. To do this on the fly, "think of a time when you felt successful, invincible or magnificent and then imagine yourself in that experience again," Dr. Selhub instructs. Conjuring up those sensations reminds you that you're capable of feeling that way regardless of the circumstances and empowers you to take action.

The Imploder

On the surface, you appear calm and collected. But inside, you're totally freaking out. You can't sleep. You can't eat. You're sick all the time. And no one knows. "Imploders may experience a lot of physical problems because they don't express any of their feelings," Dr. Selhub says. "When you aren't dealing, your stress response keeps firing without any outlet. As a result, stress hormones flood your body, and your digestive system can shut down, your immune system can stall and inflammation can become rampant. Eventually, if you are susceptible, your risk of developing depression, heart disease or cancer can increase."

Your stress Rx: 

Schedule a date with your closest friends stat. You may have grown up in a family in which no one talked about personal or difficult issues, but that's exactly what you need to do. When you feel supported, you're able to let down your guard and share what you're going through, Dr. Selhub says. This sense of trust causes your brain to release feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin, which help regulate your stress response. Research shows that feeling connected to other people lowers your blood pressure and heart rate when you're in tense situations and can even help you live longer.

The Crier

A last-minute meeting that interferes with your jam-packed schedule equals tears. A minor disagreement with your partner equals tears. If stress usually sets off waterworks and feelings of sadness, you may be headed toward the big D. A recent study from Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory in New York suggests that in about 20 percent of people, repeated stress may activate a group of neurons in the front of the brain that are strongly linked to depression. "Your emotional reactivity has a lot to do with how you perceive stressful experiences," Minkel says. "If you feel as if an event is ruining your life and it's never going to get better, then you're more likely to feel depressed." Chronic stress and depression can be a deadly combo. They increase your risk of stroke by 59 and 86 percent, respectively, according to an American Heart Association study, and are associated with obesity, heart disease and diabetes.

Your stress Rx: 

Run, dance, paint, cook—do any activity you love, even if you have to force yourself. "When you're stressed and depressed, the parts of your brain that produce positive feelings don't function properly," Minkel says. "But doing things you enjoy jump-starts those regions." At first it may seem like a struggle to make it through an art class and only marginally better than sitting on your couch and scrolling through your DVR, but stick with it. Most people notice a boost in mood after they rediscover their old hobbies, Minkel says.

The Hothead

A long line at Starbucks can throw you into a fit of fury. "You get angry when you feel as if someone or something is block­ing you from achieving a goal," Minkel says. People who blow up when they're stressed tend to abide by all-or-nothing thinking, says Mary McNaughton-Cassill, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at San Antonio. Even the littlest snag can set them off. Learning to put a lid on your rage could save your life. Anger can cause changes in the nervous system that might lead to a heart attack, research shows.

Your stress Rx: 

When you encounter a stressful situation, pause for a minute. "It gives you a chance to think about your behavior rather than lashing out," McNaughton-Cassill says. Now reframe what's happening. Maybe the driver who cut you off just had a fight with her spouse and now she's distracted. Realizing that she may not have been deliberately trying to aggravate you can extinguish your impulse to explode.

The Power of Mindful Meditation

I’ve got a quick task for you. Lift your hands off your keyboard, mouse or wherever else they may be and lay them lightly on your desk in front of you. Spread your fingers so each digit only makes contact with the desk. Now think about the weight of each fingertip as it presses against the hard surface of the desk. Think about the true feeling your fingers are making as they hang heavy on the desk. Think of nothing else.

What you just did was a brief introduction to mindful meditation. For years, people have tried meditating for it’s stress-reducing benefits, but recently, researches have concluded mindful meditation has a much larger effect on our bodies than previously thought. So powerful is the ancient technique, that it has the ability to physically change the nature of our being.

At it’s root, mindful meditation is about being acutely aware of our present surroundings and the moment around it. We are taught to notice our thoughts as the flow freely into, and out of, our minds. The goal is to not hold on to or fight these thoughts, but simply recognize them for what they are. This exercise in embracing the moment is what has traditionally precipitated a reduction in overall stress.

There are tens of millions of people around the world who practice this technique daily. Sports teams, corporations, and schools are some of the more recent adopters of this mind soothing practice. As popularity grows, researchers are looking at mindful meditation in a whole new way. By performing a series of MRI scans on the brains of individuals entrenched in mindful meditation courses, scientists are now better able to understand the physical effects of the technique once reserved for Buddhist monks.

Fear Not

Perhaps shockingly, the largest effect of mindful meditation takes places deep in the center of our brain. There is a little area in our brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is our “fight or flight” center, which you’ve likely heard of before. This primal area of the brain is responsible for both fear and emotion.

As participants in an eight-week mindful meditation course were monitored, scientists noticed a shrinking of their amygdala. An actual physical change in the size of a region of their brain. Let that sink in for a moment. As the size of their emotional fear center decreased, another remarkable change took place. The pre-frontal cortex – the area of the brain associated with concentration, decision-making, and awareness – becomes larger.

Not only that, scientists examined how these two areas are connected with the rest of the brain. Perhaps as expected, the decreased amygdala had reduced connectivity with the rest of the brain while the pre-frontal cortex increased connectivity much more strongly.

In short, mindful meditation allows physical changes in the brain which shifts away from lower-order, more primal thought processes like fear, to higher-order pre-frontal cortex-driven mental processes, like reasoning. Or phrased another way, with mindful meditation we are able to eliminate our stress and fear levels and replace them with more thoughtful and intellectual responses.

It’s Not Just Size
The ability to enlarge the pre-frontal cortex isn’t exclusively reserved for mindful meditation. Playing video games, for example, also enlarges this region of the brain. The key in achieving the mind-changing benefits however, appears to come from the connectivity of these specific regions of the brain to their surroundings.


Particularly, by cutting some of the connection between the amygdala; center of stress, and the rest of our brains, we are able to realize the greatest physical benefits from mindful meditation.

We’ve long known that stress can cause real, physical damages to us. By cutting he cord to this stress center, the array of stress chemicals for which it drives release of, diminishes. Cortisol, certain proteins, and interleukin 6, all which are associated with disease, are reduced in the blood stream.

Not only is stress at the root of many disease processes, it’s also at the root of why so many Americans have trouble losing weight. Cortisol in particular, when floating around our bloodstreams, makes many of our fat stores impervious to even the most intense exercise regimens.

The stresses or our modern lives – angry bosses, bills to pay, long commutes from work – begin to add up. This chronic state of stress that so many of us live with, results in us walking around loaded up bodily hormones and chemicals that are actively working against us. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you look at it) there is no quick-fix or pill to reduce these unhealthy levels of hormones. The change needs to come from within, and now more than ever, scientists believe mindful meditation is the answer.

Mindful Meditation and You

In truth, you don’t need to become an expert practitioner of the technique to feel its benefits. You don’t need to lock yourself away in a cliff-side monastery and forsake all pleasures in life to invite a little zen into your life. Studies show as little as 10-15 minutes of mindful meditation a day will bring about the positive changes I’ve been discussing.

Just like you spend time to brush your teeth, take a shower, and/or paint your face like a Tomahawk going into battle each morning, a little time spent mindfully meditating could go a long way. Mind expansion techniques and the belief that something so simple could change your entire outlook on life and health have often been scoffed at by the masses. But as more research rolls in on the subject, the scientists expect the current body of evidence to exponentially grow.

Get yourself ahead of the gain, and give mindful meditation a try – just 10 minutes a day to start. Over time, I believe you’ll start to enter a state of greater relaxation, experience less emotional responses to the stresses of life, and perhaps even start thinking and speaking like a more intellectually aware individual. Not to mention the improved response of your body to exercise.

Mindful meditation sounds like a win all around, so what are you waiting for? Drop those fingers back to the table and get in touch with your inner self.